The problem with numbers

We have recently passed 1000 hits on this bl- Oooh, we're gonna get a thunder-shower! Excuse me, the radio's playing in the distance.
Anyhow, we have passed 1000 hits, and although I would have very much liked to be ornery, and refused to write this article simply because my esteemed colleague TPO pre-emptively obligated me to do so. I feel that you, the loyal reader deserves better than that- to be smote by my mighty hand, maybe. To be hunted like an animal, and have your head placed on a pike then danced around in a bizzarre ritualistic orgy of primitive god placating ferver- certainly. But to deprive you of a 1000 hit celebratory post- NEVER!
I urge you to enjoy this moment, savour the sweet juices of ill gotten gain. I would like to now regale you with tales of my adventures in capitolism, thus beginning a series of stories which will amuse, confuse and ultimately- PLACATION IS CAPITOLISM'S MEANS AND END!

Thus begins-

Tales of Interest!

Part 1: Tales out of work...

It becomes important when out of work to adopt a new, and very special point of view. You must cease to- nay, refuse to admit that monetary gain is either:

a) Easier than destitution

b) Helpful

c) Necessary to basic living in this society

But how? You ask, how can I simply ignore the fact that a capitolist society is based upon, and wholly dependent on the citizen populace working and making money. Observe.

Societor

(A tangeable reprisentation of society in human form):

"Working is easy, once you begin you will learn to enjoy it. In fact, you will find that you will learn to value yourself in terms of your paycheque, and the more tangeable objects which can be purchased with said paycheck."

Me:

"N'ah."

Societor:

"How will you live, you cannot live within this society if you will not bend to the will of me, Societor!"

(Now, here is where most would find no way of progressing onward without claiming to live in the woods in a hippie colony, but here is a simple trick to countering this argument...)

Me:

N'ah.

Societor:

No, but you. You can't just. Theres no way for you to. It just doesn't.

*POP*

And there you have it, In the future, you may find it useful to simply respond in any situation in terms of negation. I find it quite useful, not to mention fun.

Now, just for fun, lets have a brief and frank discussion about jobs, and our duty to our society.

The Frank truth about that thing that we do, no, not the thing at night, the other one, the daytime thing.

1) Working should be hard, that is it's nature. When work must be done, hard work is preferable. In that way, we increase the amount of time that can be spent drinking beer and barbequeing.

2) Of Time and Payscales- Your payscale, and all payscales are deliberately, and necessarily set BELOW what your time is worth. If not, no profit could be made; as profit is the grease that lubes the fat, bloated backside of capitolism.

2b) I cannot overstate this fact people, working is by necessity not worth your time, your boss is profiting through your labour, this is important, any time a tempting job offer comes along which may get you working again, just remember. It's not worth your time. Period.

Now, all this talk of capitolism, and lack of working makes you think, hmmm, this is sounding a lot like a comminism advocation- BUT NO!

In fact, I have come before you today to expose the MSN Communist Conspiracy!

Those of you who have downloaded the free (eh..eh...clue number one) MSN Messenger 7.0 patch, have no doubt noticed the amusing new animated winks. With the obnoxious womans laughter, the strip dancing piggy, and....the dancing young hipster with a RED STAR OF COMMUNISM emblazened onto his shirt! The preceeding exclamation point should show you just how shocking, and exciting this discovery is.

MSN is secretly, under the guise of simple amusement, brainwashing our youth with hidden communist propoganda. I have learned, through devious maneuvering, the full extent of MSN's plan; a three pronged attack on the sunconscious using liminal, sub-liminal, and super-liminal means.

I will now expose the full malevolence of this secret ploy by relating to you how I managed to surrepitously uncover this conspiracy.

Me:

I noticed that one of your MSN winks has a man dancing with a red star on him, does this constitute a threat to our capitolist system by an all out assault of communism?

President of MSN/BC:

Yes, yes it does.

Me:

Oh.

President of MSN/BC:

Yeah.

Me:

Well, don't you think it's pretty inconsistent for a huge corporaion, which has made billions and trillions of dollars by exploiting the capitolist system to suddenly appear as a communist aggressor?

President of MSN/BC:

Yes, yes it does.

But we don't think the readers will really notice, or mind this little inconsistency.

Me:

Neither do I.

President of MSN/BC:

Well good.

Have a nice day now.

Me:

You too, it was nice to speak to you.

So there you have it, my clandestine research which has led to this shocking expose.

In conclusion, I think I speak for all involved when I state that the problem with numbers is that there's too many of them. I mean, infinity, c'mon It's just rediculous...

Coming in part two:

Tales of Interest!

How many adjectives can you cram into a sentence?

I'll see you next time, and remember, never stop watching the Skeee's! And shooting turkey's.