retail

In my experiences at The Gap, Starbucks and now The Olive Garden I keep being reminded that people generally are just stupid. And it seems like the half of those people have dedicated themselves to the growing, world-wide cult of beligerency. I'm sure under the cover of darkeness, they secretly drive off in their mini-vans to their domain where they swap stories of how they made servers cry and baristas make their drink over 6 times b/c it wasn't exactly 180 degrees before they floored it out of the drive-thru. Then i'm sure after they have their sharing time, the leader (which often times is referred to as "satan") makes his expected, courteous and seemingly caring and inspirational speech of how they can be even worse the next day. Then it's followed by rounds of rip-roaring texas holdem where customer recovery coupons are the anty and the winner gets tipped out everything that wasn't tipped to all the servers of that week. It can be pretty good money depending upon their bills and believe me, the victory and honour of winning such a holdem match would be instant glory and bragging rights all around. Even the moms who were on a tighter budget in the corner on the green, ripped sofas would nod their approval as they played a milder version of dutch blitz. They may even offer you a ride home or ask about your personal life. Yes, this is where one can build true friends. These people must be in a pact, they feed so hungrily and come in waves honking their horns, pounding their fists at the till or intentionally messing up the men's colared, striped, hard-to-freaking-fold-again long-sleeved shirts in Section 2.

Though sometimes their comments may seem to fall on deaf ears, they're very much heard. We give them their chicken romas for free, refund their clothes over the due date and continually make them their Venti, no water, 6 pumps, soy, 180 degrees, no foam, w/ cinnamon powder on top, double-sleeved Chai Lattes. It's what we do best. I sure hope their weekly meetings go well and that their chants can be heard well into the streets of Whyte Ave. If I find this place, I will rat them out to the hippies or maybe I'll call up my friends who religiously buy everything you can think of for their paintball guns and we'll fire off a few rounds. I hope they have purple paintballs...that would make me a very happy girl. :) Yeesh, anyone want to vote that i'm starting my period soon?