Extracts From My Mind on Politics

So, the comment on my last posting made me remember something that I wanted to write about. The Canadian Federal Election. I know that I may be hunted down for saying this, but it is high time that someone pushed Paul Martin down a flight of stairs. Oh no, they've broken through my door already, bah, what will they do ban my nonexistent handguns. Ok, refocusing, this is what I think about politics in Canada at the moment.
A monarchy with Prince William (oh so hot and caring) as King would be most ideal, yet alas this modern day philosopher king shall never come to power in the way that I wish.
Next best would be chaotic anarchy initiated with the launching of EMP bombs in all the major city centres of the world. I am sure that one of my collegues here at the blog will expand on this plan in the future, but suffice to say a return to an agrarian timocracy would be most excellent.
My third option and the first realistic one is the election of a conservative government in Canada. If people would get off their apathetic asses and vote for a party with integrity and democratic values, even admitting falliability by planning to make its MP's and PM accountable to Canada's citizens in its money use, free elections in the house of commons, fiscal responcibility. Ok all I can say is if the conservatives don't win then I am going to vomit. Honestly people, don't be a Canuck Shmuck and vote for Jack Layton for his sex appeal or Paul Martin for his obvious lack of this quality. Also Quebec, just seperate already, and take that dashing yet enigmatically sinister Giles Ducepp with you. Talk about a free ride Ducepp, it must be easy having one issue to campaign on.
The fourth option is that the US annexes Canada politically and finally throws off the facade of economic pimping that has been going on since the 1920's.
The fifth option is for cats to be appointed as our rulers. I have two reasons for this point. First Paul Martin looks like a cat already, so it wouldn't be too drastic of a change. Secondly he could have leaders that could be used for both stew and jackets after they had served a term...oh wait we could do that already. I nice Belinda Stronach jacket might be comfortable. OK now PETA and pretty much every other couth human being just discredited me.
Speaking of Cats, I was in a pet shop the other day and noticed that one could buy any concievable object for one's pet, so why do we not have kitty brothels. I mean cats and dogs have sexual needs, why doesn't our society provide the means for our animals to release this pent up energy. Maybe then there would be less violent dog attacks. Maybe Jack Layton could think up something for this. He is the type to be into the seeing as he was a porn star in a former life. Anywho I think that I have ranted enough.
Spread the news people, randomocity and satire, I desperately need your approval. Please give me a reason to bathe and shave in the morning.
Oh Canada, why are you so dumb
Who wants to get some Thai noodles and not the kind that Jack Layton likes...wink wink.