He Who Burns

I am a black lump of coal
And you all have need to fear
For I have within my soul
enough to consume anyone near.

Enough fule
Enough potential
To level a mountain to shale.

Sometimes I sit, a dark and cold coal
Then I begin to smoulder-
I come to life!
A fire ignites!
Within me resides the need to grow-
hotter-brighter-larger.

It takes naught but a slight breeze to rouse me into flames,
scourching those around me - remembering all God's names.

I long to burn entirely,

to be consumed by heat,

to evaporate into smoke,
to be entirely anihilated into light,
to join with One in the sky,
to be free from my cold and black carbon shell.

This is where the fear comes in. When I am roused, having imbibed a breath of the eternal-I am powerful. I speak with a voice that is not my own. I stare with eyes that are lost in mist. I issue forth a fire, a heat, a light which consumes those who would oppose eternity. I do not have within my soul anything, I am naught but black coal, but in union with One, I am a mighty fire. An unforgettable flame. Not often does this happen. These moments of rapture. These ecstatic glimpses of understanding. These moments of tangable spirituality which form true images from the white void of oblivion.

Perhaps this is why I like to smoke. I like to taste, smell and see raw physical material transform into something else. To be apotheosized into smoke and heat. To break down, yet rise up; elusive and ephemeral in the sky. It has occured to me again, this is my name. Andrew- Greek for "man". Gerbrandt- German for "he who burns". I am the man who burns. I am the burning man. I burn with desire. I burn with longing. I burn with love longing. I'm not talking about lust, sexual or sensual urges. Although, it is a lot like that. I seek to know the eternal. I find nothing but darkness. Can I know anything of the eternal while still in this cold and black body of carbon? Can coal understand the pure essence of heat and light? Damn-it, I sound like Plato...