I May Possibly Be Back

I've been feeling a great deal of tension lately. My body, mind and soul torn asunder by conflicting forces, choices that I must make, steps I must take, words I must--spake? I've been pushed and pulled, up, down and everywhichway. But tonight I felt the sky open up, it cracked in half and it all poured away, trickling down into the gutters, into chaos and disorder. It is not order from chaos that I seek. It is the fluid movement of perpetual already destruction which I must learn to watch it ecstatic glee- change my perspective on the tragic scene which I am forced to spectate. If I continually attempt to exert my meager will upon the ineffable forces of the universe I will fail. I must lose myself, forget myself, feel the breeze on my face, the rain in my hair and let it all slide away to one single point that can spiral away in a aquatic backflip, drift down the stream, glide along the current, until I feel comfortable as part of the forces which are only painful because I won't submit to their inevitablity. There is no use in fighting the benign powers of nature. I have learned how to die and thereby how to live. Sorry for this figurative redundancy, but I'm still only human. Maybe soon I'll explain where I've been all month, but as for now I'm not entirely sure whether I've actually returned at all.