Steroids and Stand Your Ground (Rancid)

Recently there has been a boom of people using the "juice". Baseballs players being hauled in front of committees saying they have never, EVER, EVER used steroids now come back and go "oh yeah, there was this one time.." . But really are any of us surprised? You see these guys on TV and think, "my religious diety, that mans arms are the size of my thigh". But thats not the frightening thing. If you consider shrunken genitals and large melon headed dudes with muscles the size of a small car not frightening. Kids are now getting hooked on steroids.
Back in the good or bad old days, I cant recall which, players didnt have preformance inhancing drugs. Babe Ruth was usually smashed outta his gord when he stepped up to the plate for example. But nowadays baseball needs to be exciting. Have you every watched a full game of baseball? Its the slowest most dull sport in the world. Ive got a brilliant idea. Lets make the players go on crack. Thatd make for some excting baseball. Picture outfielders fleeing from the ball cuz they think it'll bite them. Watching baseball is very taxing. Its slow. But then they hit it and it goes up up and up til some idiot catches it. Or runs into another guy.
For professional ball players it seems fine. But now teen girls are using steroids to get that toned and defined look. What? Its called going to a gym you lazy twit. Little Leaguers are being tested for drugs. I think its time for sport parents to take it down a notch. If little Jimmy has muscles bigger then daddies, and hes ten, PROBLEM! Guys are using steroids to become buff and strong so the ladies will flock to them like flys on a corpse by the train tracks. Listen boyos, you dont need muscles to get women. I should know. Picture a stick with an orange atop it. Thats me. Cept less round....and orange.
So whats to be done? How bout for one we keep the drugs away from the kiddies. How the heck does a 14 year old girl walk into a health food store and grab a can of Insta-muscle? It boggles my mind. Or trivial pursuits it. Everyone is trying to be better in this day and age. Look better, preform better etc. What they dont know is that they dont have too. Looks will fade. Cept mine. Im an elf. And even if you do make it to the big leagues making 10 million a year, whats going to happen when they find the next Mark Maguire or Sammy Sosa? Your going to be kicked out with all your faded glory. People should learn to love themselves as is. Or if you dont go be active. I mean honestly, instead of spending $500 dollars to get a tub of steroid juice go get yourself to a fitness club. Take pilates. Do you really want to live in a world of angry, shrunken testicled, monsters? Maybe just to get rid of Maroon 5 fine. I know some of you do but Im speaking to the guy beside you. Juice should be back to fruits not drugs.
Adieu.
My moles resemble contellations.