Steroids and Stand Your Ground (Rancid)

Recently there has been a boom of people using the "juice". Baseballs players being hauled in front of committees saying they have never, EVER, EVER used steroids now come back and go "oh yeah, there was this one time.." . But really are any of us surprised? You see these guys on TV and think, "my religious diety, that mans arms are the size of my thigh". But thats not the frightening thing. If you consider shrunken genitals and large melon headed dudes with muscles the size of a small car not frightening. Kids are now getting hooked on steroids.
Back in the good or bad old days, I cant recall which, players didnt have preformance inhancing drugs. Babe Ruth was usually smashed outta his gord when he stepped up to the plate for example. But nowadays baseball needs to be exciting. Have you every watched a full game of baseball? Its the slowest most dull sport in the world. Ive got a brilliant idea. Lets make the players go on crack. Thatd make for some excting baseball. Picture outfielders fleeing from the ball cuz they think it'll bite them. Watching baseball is very taxing. Its slow. But then they hit it and it goes up up and up til some idiot catches it. Or runs into another guy.
For professional ball players it seems fine. But now teen girls are using steroids to get that toned and defined look. What? Its called going to a gym you lazy twit. Little Leaguers are being tested for drugs. I think its time for sport parents to take it down a notch. If little Jimmy has muscles bigger then daddies, and hes ten, PROBLEM! Guys are using steroids to become buff and strong so the ladies will flock to them like flys on a corpse by the train tracks. Listen boyos, you dont need muscles to get women. I should know. Picture a stick with an orange atop it. Thats me. Cept less round....and orange.
So whats to be done? How bout for one we keep the drugs away from the kiddies. How the heck does a 14 year old girl walk into a health food store and grab a can of Insta-muscle? It boggles my mind. Or trivial pursuits it. Everyone is trying to be better in this day and age. Look better, preform better etc. What they dont know is that they dont have too. Looks will fade. Cept mine. Im an elf. And even if you do make it to the big leagues making 10 million a year, whats going to happen when they find the next Mark Maguire or Sammy Sosa? Your going to be kicked out with all your faded glory. People should learn to love themselves as is. Or if you dont go be active. I mean honestly, instead of spending $500 dollars to get a tub of steroid juice go get yourself to a fitness club. Take pilates. Do you really want to live in a world of angry, shrunken testicled, monsters? Maybe just to get rid of Maroon 5 fine. I know some of you do but Im speaking to the guy beside you. Juice should be back to fruits not drugs.
Adieu.
My moles resemble contellations.

Paranoia and Paper Wings (Rise Against)

With the passing weeks of the London Bombings the West has certainly stepped up security measures. The bombs of London or as the American networks like to call it LONDON TERROR!!!!!!!....Ahem, rattled the world. Over 50 dead and still looking for some of the bombers the Brits have kept thier cool throughout with total contempt for terrorists and thier plots. But the real question is. How can we make more people trigger-happy paranoids?
After the attacks London has basically gone back to normal. Just with hightend sercurity measures. But still the fear of yet another attack is on the minds of millions of Lodoners. But hey, if it happened to London why shouldnt the US crank up ye ole security watch? Since most Americans dont know where London is I assume thats why. Increased security measures on subways and trains throughout the US. Thier even implementing a machine that tests if you have any gunpowder residue on you like they have in some airports.
But really, is any of it effective? Yes, allows the capture of terrorists but in most cases it just slows up the already tortoise like movement of traffic. If a nutjob really wants to blow himself up he will due so. No security measures short of shooting him will do it. A metal detector and a cop aint gonna stop another shoebomber. He'd just blow himself up. But therein lies an intresting thing about the London Bombings. The terrorists didnt blow themselves up. They simply planted the bombs and then left to detonate (or fail to) later. That way they can live and bomb another day.
Now just for a certain friend of mine I'll throw some tolerance in this mess. Muslims in the US and Europe now are viewed as potential terrorists. Second glances and in your head are thinking? "cood dis man be dee bad man dat dee great and powerful Lou Dobbs sayd r awout dere?" (Im paraphrasing of course I dont know what your thinking....you should do that though). Muslims in their own arent extremists theres only a wee margin of nuts that recruit lost and angry teens to go and kill people in the name of God. Lou Dobbs. What a shmuck.
So here we are at the end. Terrorism is a horrible, cowardly, backwards, use of psychological warfare. But the thing is there isnt just one gigantic al-Qaida out there to smoosh. No. There are small cells that operate independently of it. There might never be an end to terrorism, but then again with that kind of thinking the terrorists win. The world will continue turning. Soldiers from the West may very well remain in the Holy Land which causes more terrorism which means more soldiers. I like cycles. So the next time there is a large terrorist attack on some large metropolis by a misguided guy listening to Maroon 5 all day. Im not sure if terrorists listen to crappy music but I assume so. We must be like the Brits and keep a "stiff upper lip" about this whole business. Problem is, you look like an idiot if you try to keep your upper lip stiff. I knew you'd try it.
Adieu.
My hair is on fire.